The Signs and Effects of Bad Parenting That All Parents Should Know
Parents are the greatest influence on their children. Most parents understand this and fear making mistakes. Is it possible to be a perfect parent that makes no mistakes? The reality is that every parent has had a bad parenting moment at one time. Mistakes do not make anyone a bad parent. You just need to know the signs to look out for and learn how to avoid them to raise your child well.
Bad parenting definition
One moment of poor parenting does not make anyone a bad parent. Poor parenting refers to a series of actions that harm a child’s psychology, esteem, and development. Bad parents feel guilty and try to apologize for the mistake but do the same thing repeatedly. Sometimes the actions are unintentional and hence the parents do not know of the effects on children. In other cases, parents are too busy working or with other activities that they spend no time learning how to be good parents.
Good parenting vs. Bad parenting
Good parenting does not result from one good act like providing for the child’s needs. Some parents get one thing right and everything else. Just like poor parenting, good parenting involves a series of consistent actions throughout a child’s life. Good parenting does not mean the absence of mistakes or perfection but adopting the right attitude. Good parents are willing to learn and correct their mistakes. The debate on good versus poor parenting skills will always be there because parents differ on the best way to raise children. However, basic rules like spending quality time with kids, protecting kids from harm or danger, proper diet, building healthy relationships, and showing support and love to kids remain constant.
Bad parenting statistics
Researchers have conducted many studies to define bad parenting and its effects on children. For instance, the Joseph Rowntree Foundation found out in 2007 that parents underestimate their influence on their children. Another study in the UK in 2011 found out that children of bad parents are two times more likely to misbehave. Another study showed that children of single parents are 11 times more likely to misbehave. The statistics emphasize the needs for both parents to be involved and adopt the right parenting skills.
Bad parenting moments
You will realize when raising children that a lot can happen within seconds. Some of the bad moments occur when the parent is distracted. For example, you assume that your child is sleeping and rush out. Seconds later the child is screaming from the shower or stuck in the wardrobe. Some parents have also reported screaming at their kids or losing their children in social places. Others admit spending too much time of their phones or laptop while their children need attention. Another common scenario is working late every other night until you do not spend much time with the kids. The point here is to identify such moments and know how to correct them immediately.
Bad parenting examples
Sometimes parents start right but fail when they start comparing their children with others. Hence, they punish their children harshly while trying to make behave as their friend or neighbor’s kids. Other bad examples are abusive mothers and fathers who fail to admit their mistakes or seek help. Some parents place their careers, social life, and social status above their children’s welfare. Others fail to affirm and acknowledge their children’s feelings and emotions even when their actions are harmful. Bad parents leave their children unattended or with poor caregivers who end up abusing their children.
Bad parenting signs
How can you tell if you are raising your children well? Is there a benchmark for good parenting? Every child is unique and so what works for one child might not work for another. However, some parenting skills work for all kids. We discuss poor parenting skills for mothers and fathers separately because their duties are different.
Signs of a bad father
Children need the love and support of both parents. One common problem in many families is absent or uninvolved fathers. Every father should avoid the following signs –
- Unaware of the child’s important details such as the date of birth, doctor’s name, or teacher’s name
- Absence in the most critical moments of the child’s life like birth, learning to walk, talk, and schooling
- Failing to provide for the child’s present and future needs
- Overlooking the need to build a strong relationship with each child
- Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse against the children
- Initiating violence in the home where children should feel safe
Signs of a bad mother
Sometimes father get away with bad parenting but mothers are o expected to be perfect. Maternal instincts help mothers in parenting but sometimes they get it wrong. Some of the signs of a bad mother include:
- Spending little or no time with the child
- Poor communication with the child such as shouting or screaming
- Giving children gifts in place of spending time with them
- Violence against the children instead of correcting mistakes properly
- Failing to discipline children when they make mistakes or punishing them even when they tell the truth
- Allowing abusive men to harm the children including abusive fathers
- Being over-protective such that the child does not learn interaction or social skills
Bad parenting effects
Poor parenting skills have major effects on the children including a low self-esteem. Bad parents undermine their children’s feelings to the extent that they are unable to express themselves in social settings. Abuse from parents and violence at home leads to depression and other psychological issues. Some children act out and exhibit criminal behaviors as a way of looking for attention. Other effects include poor performance at school, poor relationship skills, uncontrolled anger, lack of empathy, drug abuse, and poor resilience.
Bad parenting advice
Sometimes parents adopt the wrong parenting approach because of believing in the wrong parenting advice. Parents must be careful when seeking advice. We have outlined the signs of bad mothers and fathers. If you exhibit any of these behaviors, you need to seek help from professionals. The tendency is for parents to talk to other parents or relatives who could also have gone wrong in their parenting journey. Talk to a professional if you do not know how to correct your bad parenting approach.
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