How to Discipline a Child without Hitting and Yelling
Most parents would admit to yelling and hitting if they were brutally honest. Unfortunately, this approach does not correct bad behavior but does the opposite. Kids stop listening to their parents when it seems like the parents are bossy or trying to control them. If you start yelling, the child is likely to repeat the same mistakes and then you will yell more.
Sometimes disobedience is your kids’ way of communicating their frustrations with your discipline approach. You will also find the kids doing the same when they are wronged or hurt. In this article, you will learn how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling.
1. Set and communicate clear rules at home
Do your kids know why you discipline them so often? Do not assume that they know and understand their mistakes. Many times kids are just trying new things without knowing their consequences. Before the next discipline session comes along, sit down and write down all the household rules. Include clear consequences for each rule.
Once you have a clear set of rules, explain each rule to your kids and the importance of observing the rules. For instance, why is it important to finish homework before play? Why should they be honest or courteous? Go over the rules several times until they understand.
2. Examine your emotions
You must be honest if you will break the habit of shouting and hitting. Why do you yell at your kids? Is it the gravity of their mistakes or your personal frustrations and emotional baggage? Many times kids pay for the sins of their parents. If you have overwhelming personal issues, you are likely to yell at your kids or anyone else.
Kids are the most vulnerability because they may not answer back and shout louder than you do. One important tip on how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling is taking charge of your emotions. Always do a quick check of your emotions when you feel the urge to yell or hit. If you find other underlying issues, deal with them first before disciplining your kids.
3. Follow through with the consequences
Kids are fast learners. They can tell if you are serious about an issue or just bluffing. Once you set rules and their consequences, follow through with the consequences as communicated. Do not postpone discipline or fall for the kids’ manipulation. No matter how hard they cry or persuade you, implement the consequences.
If you promise to cut off TV time, early bedtime, or time out, do it exactly as you explained when giving the set of rules. Do the same thing for all the kids if they are within the same age group. Teens may not respond to the same disciplinary measures as toddlers. However, all the consequences should be enforced.
4. Teach kids the right way to solve problems
It is important to learn how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling to pass on the right skills. If you yell all the time, kids do not learn how to solve problems or conflicts. Consequently, they build poor relationships out of poor communication and social skills. When you yell every time your child is wrong, the child assumes that yelling is the right way to express their frustration. You will soon have a household where everyone is shouting at each other.
Besides setting rules, teach your children to talk about their issues before throwing tantrums. For instance, if other children take the kids’ toys without permission, teach them to ask for the toys firmly without shouting. If you do it right, your kids will soon start talking to you instead of breaking rules intentionally.
5. Give firm warnings
Here is another strategy that works better than shouting. You have set clear rules and their consequences. Whenever your child breaks any rule, give them a firm warning of your intention to enforce the consequence. You cannot move from one extreme of yelling to being overly soft with the kids. However, you can be firm when disciplining without shouting.
When you practice warning your kids before actual discipline, they begin to understand your language. Remember that you cannot promise to discipline them and fail. The kids will test your commitment to your words. After several times of warnings and enforced consequences, some bad habits will begin to break.
6. Give rewards for positive behavior
Parents tend to focus more on the bad behavior and forget that their kids get some things right. Here is another tip on how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling. If you notice any slight change of behavior, reward it immediately. If your kids begin to follow new rules, do not sit back and wait for them to break any. Give them rewards for the positive attitude. The rewards can be as simple as extended play or TV time. You can also give new toys or give back those you took away in the past.
Rewards do not have to be associated with discipline issues. You can reward good performance at school, helping with the household chores, or even doing homework on time. You communicate to your kids that you notice their good traits. Rewards affirm their resolve to do better and build their esteem. Otherwise, harsh discipline with no acknowledgement of good behavior will create a negative personal image.
7. Be a friendly parent
Do your kids talk to you about their deepest fears and struggles? If not, you need to start rebuilding your relationship with them. It is never too late to build a broken relationship. Using a loud voice shuts your kids down. You cannot be angry with your kids all day. Once an issue is addressed, move on and play with them as usual. Strive towards becoming a parent that kids can talk to about anything.
Understand that if you have been hitting and yelling throughout the child’s life, it will take some time for the child to trust you. Do not be frustrated if the kids push you away at first. Instead, be patient and keep working at it until a strong relationship is established.
There you have it! You now know how to discipline a child without hitting and yelling. It is never late to adopt a new parenting skill. Instead of worrying about the years you have used a harsh approach, start working on the tips we have shared. Give yourself time to master the new disciplinary approach. You will eventually forget about yelling and have a peaceful home.
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